What to do about the mind games Options

[owine]

You're better off moving on and not acting like a chick about it.

[BostonMacky]

OCOP OUCH.

[owine]

Brutal honesty. If you're done with it, you're done with it. If you're so intently focused on her wanting you back, you're not actually done with it.

[BostonMacky]

Brutal honesty. If you're done with it, you're done with it. If you're so intently focused on her wanting you back, you're not actually done with it.

I can’t figure out if it’s for my own personally satisfaction or if part of the reason why I want her that way is so I can give her the (emotional/mental/psychological) knockout punch to prove to people that this is all me and not her. Because every friend I have, despite the fact they have my back, deep down they think if she came running back to me, I’d cave like a bitch and fall right back in. And to be honest, I have a STRONG STRONG desire to prove them otherwise. And separate myself from her in the eyes of everyone, because a ridiculous amount of people still associate me with her and vise versa.

[Vic Mackey]

You're better off moving on and not acting like a chick about it.

^^^

What he said.

[Ron Mexico]

A piece of trash like Rachel/Blondie isn't worth all of this.

[owine]

Regardless just move on and live your life. If she comes crawling back, you know you can live your life without her and saying no will be extremely satisfying.

[Vic Mackey]

It was more of like a “I’m sick of your shit finally” and more of “Oh really, well I’ll be stubborn and wait for you to come beg for me back”. And this time I finally didn’t.

And it’s not like I want the situation “saved”. I did years ago, months ago, even weeks ago. But not anymore. I don’t want the situation saved. I want it to be ended .. FOR GOOD. I don’t care if every other girl I’m involved with (both one nighters and relationships) are .. prettier, hotter or uglier than her. I don’t care if they are richer or poorer. I don’t care if they are smarter or dumber. I just care that they AREN’T HER. So I don’t want it saved. I just want to walk away from it with the satisfaction that on the inside she’s devastated, depressed and realizes not appreciating what she had is a mistake she’ll regret for a VERY VERY long time. I want for my own personal (I don’t know if it’s ego or what it is) that she is miserable and emotionally crushed beyond repair. You might say that last line isn’t possible, but she is mentally/emotionally unstable, stubborn, immature and fucked-up enough where I definitely think it is.

I mean this could have ended in a dignified, respectable, mutual agreement of going are separate ways. But the way she was such a cold hearted thoughtless, arrogant trashy bitch about it. Pisses me off to absolutely NO END.

Your missing the point here. YOU might not care if the other girls you meet are hotter but SHE will!!! If you get a better chick than her she'll want you back because she won't want another girl she sees as better being with the guy who used to be hers. She'll realize she cares and wants to make it work. From what you described to me this girl is very insecure and this will work on her. If you want her to try and come back to you you have to give her a good reason to you. You're completely overreacting to everything she's doing and you are basically her puppet now. This girl has you completely overreacting to the situation, and you don't seem to have a very good understanding of women. This is just what they do. You can't go on hating women cause you got fucked over, it happens. You need to start talking to other girls and learn how to play the game. Cause if you try and make her miserable for no reason your reputation will take a hit. Girls will look at you and say...he's crazy, I'm staying away from him. But if you handle a situation like that with class and act like you aren't phased other women are gonna take notice and be impressed. You impress them with your poise and ability to handle any bullshit they throw at you, you get the hot gf, your ex gets jealous and you win. Thats how its done.

[BostonMacky]

Your missing the point here. YOU might not care if the other girls you meet are hotter but SHE will!!! If you get a better chick than her she'll want you back because she won't want another girl she sees as better being with the guy who used to be hers. She'll realize she cares and wants to make it work. From what you described to me this girl is very insecure and this will work on her. If you want her to try and come back to you you have to give her a good reason to you. You're completely overreacting to everything she's doing and you are basically her puppet now. This girl has you completely overreacting to the situation, and you don't seem to have a very good understanding of women. This is just what they do. You can't go on hating women cause you got fucked over, it happens. You need to start talking to other girls and learn how to play the game. Cause if you try and make her miserable for no reason your reputation will take a hit. Girls will look at you and say...he's crazy, I'm staying away from him. But if you handle a situation like that with class and act like you aren't phased other women are gonna take notice and be impressed. You impress them with your poise and ability to handle any bullshit they throw at you, you get the hot gf, your ex gets jealous and you win. Thats how its done.

I believe you are right when you say she cares. It's just sometimes it's hard to believe because she has an unbelievable level of stubbornness, where she refuses to show any intended weakness. Although deep down I believe you’re right. Especially if the girl is insanely hot. Even though, at this point a little bit of loyalty might mean more to be than being a knockout trophy girl just because I'm used to the lack of loyalty from the bimbo.

Just as a note, she is very insecure. Extremely, so much so it could make you sick.

And I don't hate women. I hate her, or what she has become.

I see what you mean regarding the crazy man label, because girls could perceive it that way. Although I think it depends on what route I take to get there. Because she is generally despised by a lot of people, so maybe it'd get overlooked anyway. Not that I would risk being labeled a psycho just for a quick moment of psychological enjoyment.

[Vic Mackey]

I believe you are right when you say she cares. It's just sometimes it's hard to believe because she has an unbelievable level of stubbornness, where she refuses to show any intended weakness. Although deep down I believe you’re right. Especially if the girl is insanely hot. Even though, at this point a little bit of loyalty might mean more to be than being a knockout trophy girl just because I'm used to the lack of loyalty from the bimbo.

Just as a note, she is very insecure. Extremely, so much so it could make you sick.

And I don't hate women. I hate her, or what she has become.

I see what you mean regarding the crazy man label, because girls could perceive it that way. Although I think it depends on what route I take to get there. Because she is generally despised by a lot of people, so maybe it'd get overlooked anyway. Not that I would risk being labeled a psycho just for a quick moment of psychological enjoyment.

lol, Asking her to show you weakness and be loyal to you after you broke up with her would be like me asking you to be a Kobe fan. Its not gonna happen. That doesn't mean she doesn't care. Girls are emotional and don't always think rationally. You can't just expect a logical end to a breakup with a girl. It "could" happen, but with a girl that crazy I wouldn't bet a nickle on it. Your very young yet, things didn't work out with your girl. Focus on banging girls, not being vengeful. I know 4 years is a long time to spend with someone and you don't just get over that overnight but once you start hooking up with hot chicks after a while this flower won't seem so special. I know its tough, but the ONLY way to forget about an ex is the next girl.

So instead of being pissed about it, use that insecurity to your advantage. I know that sounds mean but girls do it to guys all the time, so don't feel bad for doing it back.

But most women will react in a similar way. So you have to adjust.

You said most people don't like her, she almost dropped out or school and she's a drug bag. Sounds to me she doesn't need you to do anything for her to feel like shit about herself.

This post has been edited by Vic Mackey: May 28 2009, 02:22 AM

[Krister Bermuda]

I mean I care. But I care because I feel like she thinks she’s won. I used to care in the “I want her back and I’m pissed/sad” sort of way. It’s not that. It’s just, I feel like she’s getting off the hook too easy.

Although maybe I should take it as satisfaction enough that since I gave her the (well sort of) boot. She’s almost dropped out of school, became a druggie and is laughed at even more than she was before?

And GO, I intend to do that if she gets over her own stubborn pride and has the guts to come back to me. I intend on literally being the most heartless arrogant asshole imaginable, I just don't think she has it in her to come back to me even if she wants too, she's too much of a stubborn bitch.

I never told any of you this, but one time we got into a fight and she literally uttered the words “Are you fucking kidding, you should be fucking honored to be seen with me”. Which is the closest point I’ve ever came to hitting a female in my life. Jokes on her now I guess.

I'm very familiar with the world of drugs and dropping out of school. Trust me, she is going to be a miserable person within time. Right now she might seem happy to be diving into this "new lifestyle" but eventually she'll get lonely, depressed, and think that she's a worthless piece of shit. It comes with the territory.

Make your life better as her's gets worse, get a good girl, and make sure not to show any resentment or bitterness. Just stay cold and detached, and this is probably your best bet to make her feel like an asshole, aside from the damage she does to herself.

[Krister Bermuda]

I know 4 years is a long time to spend with someone and you don't just get over that overnight but once you start hooking up with hot chicks after a while this flower won't seem so special. I know its tough, but the ONLY way to forget about an ex is the next girl.

True words. I wallowed in self-pity for a few weeks after breaking up with one girl I was with for 14 months. She seemed like the end-all be-all during that moment. But after a few years of brief hookups and eventually another relationship, that girl means absolutely nothing to me anymore.

[legendsneverdie]

I recommend you try and get her back in the sack once more and when that happens throw down some surprise anal and bounce out of there like nothing happened. Then do one or more of her best friends.

This post has been edited by legendsneverdie: May 28 2009, 10:46 AM

[Yankee4Life]

I never told any of you this, but one time we got into a fight and she literally uttered the words “Are you fucking kidding, you should be fucking honored to be seen with me”. Which is the closest point I’ve ever came to hitting a female in my life. Jokes on her now I guess.

That's a terrible thing to say to anyone. Look, I may not agree with your sports views, but after reading something like this, it even made me mad just to read it. I give you a lot of credit for not doing anything stupid.

I've been reading this thread off an on the last few days. From what I gather you were with a girl that was super hot and now you are not with her anymore. And just by reading that statement, she knows she is hot and seems to be stuck on herself. You're also with someone that is not as hot as this girl but from what I gather she will probably treat you better. Isn't that really what it is all about? There's millions of beautiful girls in this world and not all of them are going to have the attitude of the one you had to deal with.

Best of luck you!

[BostonMacky]

lol, Asking her to show you weakness and be loyal to you after you broke up with her would be like me asking you to be a Kobe fan. Its not gonna happen. That doesn't mean she doesn't care. Girls are emotional and don't always think rationally. You can't just expect a logical end to a breakup with a girl. It "could" happen, but with a girl that crazy I wouldn't bet a nickle on it. Your very young yet, things didn't work out with your girl. Focus on banging girls, not being vengeful. I know 4 years is a long time to spend with someone and you don't just get over that overnight but once you start hooking up with hot chicks after a while this flower won't seem so special. I know its tough, but the ONLY way to forget about an ex is the next girl.

So instead of being pissed about it, use that insecurity to your advantage. I know that sounds mean but girls do it to guys all the time, so don't feel bad for doing it back.

But most women will react in a similar way. So you have to adjust.

You said most people don't like her, she almost dropped out or school and she's a drug bag. Sounds to me she doesn't need you to do anything for her to feel like shit about herself.

Yeah I get what you mean I guess as far as me being the one to call it off. Even though it was more of a half-ass attempt at it. I basically gave her the "I'm sick of this, change now and stop being so selfish and shallow, or I'm out". You know, expecting her to for once admit she’s wrong and "give in" for a change. And when she didn't, I said fuck that she clearly could care less.

I don't understand why I cared so much during everything. I put so much into that girl and long term got what out of it. It pisses me off that I didn't see the light sooner, but I guess what’s done is done. This was really the most dysfunctional relationship of all-time. Over four years, it was only an official relationship for like scattered stretches of 2-3 months. We would fight, argue and yell like it was our job. Me and her both have been with countless OTHER people during that period of time (although I guess more than not, when I did it, it was reactionary to something I found out she did but still the point is there was a lack of faithfulness and loyalty from both ends and it only compounded things).

Hopefully you’re right about her feeling like shit. Because if she feels happy about the way she is and the way she treats everyone around her (even her family) then she’s even sicker in the head than I thought.

Although the druggieness and nearly dropping out of school (she never goes) didn’t appear until she started hanging around with this friend who is a dropout, a gangsters “groupie” and a waste of space. Well this girl did a pretty good job of bringing blondie down. In fact, she has blondie almost brainwashed, like blondie is legitimately her BITCH. I think the only reason why Blondie is seeing the kid she is, is because HE gives (blondies) friend, free drugs. Thus (blondies friend) approves of him and encourages it. As for the kid, he just wants to get laid by something that looks good, he’s moving to Florida in August anyway. It’s a dysfunctional, trashy, pathetic triangle.

But I guess I’m used to making excuses for blondie, and she was worth anything she would have been able to stick for herself and make the right choices for herself. She was just looking for the right excuse to be lazy and stop doing “the right thing”.

And it's common sense railing a bunch of dope chicks will get my mind off it, although I don't know how much of that I can do considering I made the mistake of "talking" to another girl right off the bat. And I’m not sure I have the conscious to be able to do anything behind this girl back. (I fucked girls behind blondies back all the time because I thought she deserved it frankly lol)

That's a terrible thing to say to anyone. Look, I may not agree with your sports views, but after reading something like this, it even made me mad just to read it. I give you a lot of credit for not doing anything stupid.

I've been reading this thread off an on the last few days. From what I gather you were with a girl that was super hot and now you are not with her anymore. And just by reading that statement, she knows she is hot and seems to be stuck on herself. You're also with someone that is not as hot as this girl but from what I gather she will probably treat you better. Isn't that really what it is all about? There's millions of beautiful girls in this world and not all of them are going to have the attitude of the one you had to deal with.

Best of luck you!

Yeah she knows she’s hot, or was (She’s gradually slipping). But it's not like some hot girls who have other things going for her. She just has an attractive body and it ends there. Simple as that.

And you're correct on the new girl. We aren’t officially a thing yet, even though I'll feel bad if I we don't become one considering I led her on pretty bad lol. Like I said her personality is bomb, she’s more loyal to me then I've ever seen anyone be ever (although if she is that loyal, that soon it could mean she’s got a little bit of psycho girl in her). Not to mention she has a very very pretty face but she's a little out of shape (not a lot, but she's really self-conscious and covers it up cause she thinks it’s worse than it is thus making it seem worse to me), and it’s a mental block I can't really get over it.

[EnterRivera]

Seriously, what are you, gay? Owine nailed it. You're acting like a chick.

You broke up. Get the fuck over it and stop worrying about what she thinks. Who gives a shit? Cut her off and be done with it. Stop PMSing about it. Since I broke up with my ex girlfriend in September, I have seen her twice. Once intentionally, right afterwards to exchange some shit, and once purely by accident two weeks ago. I completely ignored her two weeks ago. She's sent me a few text messages and e-mails since we broke up and I've replied to one of them. It was a one sentence reply. I want nothing to do with her, I don't give a shit what she thinks anymore, so as far as I'm concerned she might as well not be there.

And honestly, regarding this mind game bullshit, if you play back or try to "win" or whatever, you're being just as catty, just as immature, and just as retarded as she is. At that point, the differences between you and a gay, emo douchebag are approximately nil. You are acting like a woman, you are thinking like a woman. You are a woman.

(and by "woman," I mean the game-playing woman that you're trying to "bag")

Most of you need to get the sand out of your vaginas and man up.

[Krister Bermuda]

Ha. I saw my ex just about two weeks ago by accident as well, and did the same thing. I hadn't seen her in about 2 years before that.

[BostonMacky]

Seriously, what are you, gay? Owine nailed it. You're acting like a chick.

You broke up. Get the fuck over it and stop worrying about what she thinks. Who gives a shit? Cut her off and be done with it. Stop PMSing about it. Since I broke up with my ex girlfriend in September, I have seen her twice. Once intentionally, right afterwards to exchange some shit, and once purely by accident two weeks ago. I completely ignored her two weeks ago. She's sent me a few text messages and e-mails since we broke up and I've replied to one of them. It was a one sentence reply. I want nothing to do with her, I don't give a shit what she thinks anymore, so as far as I'm concerned she might as well not be there.

And honestly, regarding this mind game bullshit, if you play back or try to "win" or whatever, you're being just as catty, just as immature, and just as retarded as she is. At that point, the differences between you and a gay, emo douchebag are approximately nil. You are acting like a woman, you are thinking like a woman. You are a woman.

(and by "woman," I mean the game-playing woman that you're trying to "bag")

Most of you need to get the sand out of your vaginas and man up.

Sorry we aren't all as bad ass as you are.

[BostonMacky]

I think If I saw her today, I would act as if she wasn't even there. I wouldn't mind if whoever I was with at the time dropped a word or two though.

[EnterRivera]

Sorry we aren't all as bad ass as you are.

It has nothing to do with that at all. You broke up, move along. It's as simple as that.